Coffee with Me

Military Homecomings – Part 2 February 16, 2010

Filed under: Base Living and 29 Palms,Family,Roy's Deployment — Melissa @ 12:00 pm

This post is a continuation from yesterday’s post.

In our family, Roy is the head. I am his helpmeet. We are both needed, but we have separate roles. My main role is taking care of the home and the children. His main role is to be the provider. Of course there are lots of other things in there, but that is the main gist. When he is home though, he makes decisions with me and I consider him when I’m making decisions when he is not home. He plays and interacts with the children each night. We’re so close to his work, that he comes home most days for lunch. I love that part of living here.

When he’s home (not on deployment) he takes care of so many things. Like the cars, and insurance, and he’ll run errands for me. He’s very active in our son’s Cub Scout Pack. Day in and day out there are just so many little things that he does for us. And when he is gone, all of that falls on me. He is still our provider, being a Marine, and earning his paycheck. But he isn’t here.

While he’s gone I still try to consider what he would have me do, or what his wishes would be concerning a matter. But I try to not bother him with mundane things each day. For example, I wouldn’t email him about Alex hitting someone and asking him what to do. Just like any other day, I just take care of it. But not having him here in the evenings to talk about those things is difficult also.

Also, I tend to become more independent while he’s gone. I spend more time with friends. I spend more time on the computer! I sleep in weird shifts. I don’t cook as much.

As the time approaches when he’ll be returning home, I must begin to make adjustments in my thinking. I want him to know that I still consider him the head of our household. I know there will be some awkward moments as he interacts with the kids and with me. But knowing that each of us is committed to our marriage and our family does make that easier!

As the day approaches for him to return home, I look at our picture more and more. It sits on the dresser in the bedroom. I’m anxious for him to hold me. I’m anxious to not feel the stress of being the ONE responsible for the children.

But mostly I start thinking about how I’d really like to take a vacation alone after he gets home. Do you think he’ll let me????

Part 3 tomorrow…. (I started writing this whole thing and realized how long it was and that’s why I’m breaking it up!)

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2 Responses to “Military Homecomings – Part 2”

  1. Mandy Says:

    I know what you mean about that independence. It’s hard to be “the one” for everything and then have to switch gears and be “the two” again. You are a wonderful wife and mother. I just love you.

    The two of you are so cute in that pic. It’s one of my favorites of you.

  2. Jo Ann Says:

    I sorta know the feeling except my “aloneness” only lasts a week at a time.


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